Random Thoughts During Tea Time

Friday, January 24, 2014

As the title of this post says, they're only a bunch of random thoughts that I thought about while drinking my favorite tea :) 


Will I be able to do all the things I'm doing right now in the future? 
Will I be able to sit on the lawn beside my friends laughing about what happened that day?
Worry about my grades, myself and everything else that matters right now?
Just thinking of those things made me fear the future.

Will the mother look at her other child the same way she looks at her favorite child?
I wonder what the child feels, being ignored by her mother for having such a little, harmless mistake. 
Will she ever listen to the fun stories her child always wanted to share? Or will she just listen to lies the favored one says? 
Does she cry herself to sleep because of the pain and disappointment she feels? Or is she already numb because she already had enough.
We may never know, ever. 

I wonder how much pain she'll be able to bear.
I wonder when she'll just breakdown because of all the pain and sadness she's feeling. 
Will she show people that she is broken or will she show people that "I'm okay and strong" face?
One thing for sure, she will never be the same again.

Will she ever meet the man that will sweep her off her feet?
The one that will let her experience the "spark" the stories always tell about. 
But what if she doesn't believe in those stories anymore? 
After all, the reality she has been experiencing for a while has not been that pleasant. 
Will she be able to prove that fairy tales do not exist in reality? That the prince will not be there when the damsel in distress needs help?

Will people know the kind of pain she is experiencing? 
Will they see her tear stained face? 
Or just see the mask that she wears in order to cover it? 

What will happen if I die today?
Who will go to my funeral?
Will everyone go there?
Will people talk about me? Will they talk about the good old days? What will the people say about me? 
But in the end, those thing won't matter anyway. 
I'll be dead by then. 

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